THAT thiiiing : Mars & Masturbation: Sex Toys For Your Zodiac Sign

 Pictured here: sagittarius, leo, + cancer.  courtesy of bunny shoppe.

Pictured here: sagittarius, leo, + cancer. courtesy of bunny shoppe.

GUYS — you know you better watch out. Some girls, some girls are only about that thing, that THING, thaaaaat THIIIIING — sang famous Mars in Aries, Lauryn Hill. And, believe me — that girl KNEW what she was talking about. With her Mars situated in the fiery first house of the zodiac — there’s one thing that’s 100% FOR sure, Ms. Hill wasn't only crooning in the streets BUT ALSO, in the sheets. [Take it from a fellow Mars in Aries]. 

I once eavesdropped on a conversation between girlfriends, where one girl —nervous about an upcoming date — was seriously stressing about whether or not she was “good” in bed. Her friend, No Shame SUSAN, explained that you can’t be bad in bed — it’s just laying there… [cue crickets sound…]

Advice like THIS is why I don’t have many girlfriends (I may or may not be kidding here). That being said — this is also the perfect illustration of why DA fuck your Mars sign matters AND how knowing your Mars sign (& that of your potential lover(s) can either give you some very potent magick or work dangerously against you. [GIRL, bye.]

Your MARS is the key to unlocking that divine birthright COSMIC sex — your personal erotic astrological passcode to the Studio 54 of the stars. Holla, cosmic sex club!!

I’ll say it again —this time with feelingMARS RULES SEX — along with the body, physical vitality, lust, conquest + how you get what you want. In fact, Mars is the Roman God of War (with plenty of NSFW XXX scenes in mythology). Think about it: it takes the same stamina to prepare for war, as it does for a marathon of love-making. Lennon was on to something when he said — Make love not war. All is fair in both, anyways, right?…

Expressing your sexuality through the lens of your Mars is KEY to accessing SUPREME pleasure & even, enlightenment (uh huh, hunny). BUT, it can also be dangerous, if misdirected. That is why it is SO important to understand your Mars sign in order to evolve into the divine goddess you were born to be! WARNING: Using this type of magick may make you suddenly irresistible! 

So, irresistible — you won’t be able to keep your hands OFF yourself. That’s why we’ve curated with the help of our partners, Bunny Shoppe Sex Toys for your ZODIAC [Mars] Sign…along with info on erogenous zones + love-making + potential partner tips…we promise we won’t leave you wanting more  or will we!]

**Note: Women express their Venus signs more consciously than their Mars sign. It’s the opposite for men. In women, Mars acts as a more subconscious masculine force ruling the intention that inspires sexual pursuit & pleasure. 

Find Your Mars Sign Here: http://astro-charts.com

MARS IN ARIES: 

Don’t hold back, baby! Sex is best when spontaneous and unrestricted. A Mars in Aries may genuinely care about you, as a person — but — plain & simple — they also all about the sex. So forget the roses + love songs, AND send that dick or tit pic. Mars in Aries are plain and simple aroused by their partner’s sexual organs.In fact, they most probably have a curated catalog of former and current lovers stashed on their phone. Don’t hate the player, hate the game — they just CRUSH a lot & feel alive when they have someone to desire. They get impatient with too much foreplay, preferring to get to the point. Sometimes aggressive and generally fast, these sex babies are sincere and enthusiastic in their sexual expression. You won’t have to ask them, if they like that! For better or worse, you’ll know…

Erogenous Zone: The Head, Face & Hair: a good hair pull, whispered dirty talk & playing with their ears & they are YOURS. 

TOY: Fifi by Je Joue, purchase here

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With ears of its own, this vibrator’s versatility is what will appeal most to the Mars in Aries, sex baby. Five vibrations, seven pulsation patterns & simultaneous stimulation — this toy gets down to business, is efficient, and can switch it up! 

 

MARS IN TAURUS: 

If they can touch it, see it, smell it (yea, even smell), taste it, and definitely feel it — you can win over the Mars in Taurus. Sex, to them, involves ALL the senses. They appreciate their lovers body with all five senses locked in. Unsurprisingly, the Zodiac’s BULL is the most physical of sexual partners. They don’t need the luxuries usually associated with their sign, as long as the mood is right & there is plenty of physical contact. They may not be spontaneous or like variety, but they are good at what they do because they are PRESENT. Sex is long-lasting and steady. Just don’t ask them “Where this is going?” — intellectualizing sex only confuses these babies. 

Erogenous Zone: Neck — they breathe for sex & love — and are easily turned on. Neck kisses are a FAV.

TOY: Hands Free Vibrator Eva II by Dame, purchase here.

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Freeing up the hands, so they can focus on the other four senses is a KEY bonus of this toy. Not to mention, this stealthy but steady vibrating toy delivers consistent power maximizing the pleasure that it provides. 

 

MARS IN GEMINI: 

Our favorite flirts — Mars in Gemini love to put their mouth where the metaphorical money is! Passionate makeout sessions, dirty talk, and oral sex are these babies’ passion points. They love role-playing, as long as its varied. Less driven by their desire and more by their intellect — you’ll have to forgive them for sudden outbursts or convos during sex. Also, be wary of the “buts” and “what ifs” surrounding sex — if pillow talk ain’t your thang. 

Erogenous Zone: Arms, Shoulder, Hands. Shoulder massages & hand holding will take you far!

Toy: Lelo Ora 2 — Oral Sex Stimulator, purchase here. 

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Better than your boyfriend! — Did we say that?! -- its kinda guaranteed with this toy. With, Mars in Gemini’s obsession with the mouth — its no wonder that this top notch oral sex stimulator is the perfect toy for these babes. (hey! it even has other zodiac signs jealous)

 

MARS IN CANCER: 

Awww, baby….you are such a sweetheart! Often facing the proverbial “friend zone” for their overly sweet nature, these sex babies are the most sensitive and sweet lovers. When they aren’t pouting —that is (jk…kinda…Cancers!). They are romantic, uber mushy, and might actually be honest with you when they say that they want to just hold your hand. As lovers, they are protective, devoted, and emotional. If you feel that vibe — romance and sentimentality will have you engaged in three weeks…MAX.

Just be cautious of the moon cycle — their energy levels and their libidos tend to wax and wane with la luna. That being said, they are in touch with their feminine side & have a natural talent for pleasing the ladies! They will appreciate the GODDESS that you are! 

Erogenous Zone: Breasts. Breast massages, nipple stimulation, and kisses work like a charm!

Toy: Heart Vibrator by Rianne S, purchase here.

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It’s a FREAKIN heart. We couldn’t pick a cuter or more romantic vibrator if we tried. With 10 speeds, all we have to say is — Eat your hearts out, Cancers! ;)

 

MARS IN LEO: 

LOVE me like I love myself — is the motto of the Mars in Leo. Their fantasies often revolve around others devotion and attention. LOYAL AF & natural pleasers, Mars in Leo take pride in their lovemaking — making them extra willing to be THE BEST. They can be possessive and jealous, making you prove your love. You might also not want to take a Leo’s word for it — they are notorious for stretching the truth to impress their lovers. The Zodiac’s prideful lion have trouble separating love from sex — and can sometimes come on too strong and be impatient. Be direct & open in bed & you’ll have these big kitties purring. 

Erogenous Zone: Heart, Chest + Back. Massage their back & use your nails — these kings + queens will ROAR!

Toy: Warming Xena Rabbit Vibrator by RIanne S, purchase here. 

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A vibe for all the girls out there who run the world — is just what these jungle cats ordered! Two strong motors with ten different vibration patterns & a heat function to warm the vibe for added intensity —  this fire sign will appreciate the ignition!

 

MARS IN VIRGO: 

Leave it to a Virgo to see sex as a necessarily bodily function — but, hey! who are we to judge what gets the job done?! Virgo's use sex to banish bad vibes — the everyday stresses and tensions that build up  in their perfectly planned heads. Simple & sweet is their preferred manner — and they LOVE to turn their partners on. They are respectful of likes and dislikes and focus on the moves that they know have the most success. These babies are curious about sex, but oftentimes don't take their curiosity beyond fantasy. They will “do” more than other signs, — and aren't afraid of getting dirty — within the confines of a healthy relationship. 

Erogenous Zone: Stomach + Brain. Caress their waistline, make a to - do list with them — try some dirty talk — with a Virgo, its really about YOU and how they can get the job done BEST.

Toy: Electra by Avant, purchase here.

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this toy is efficient, cleans easily, and Virgos -- with this dildo — you can still do all the work. It has a subtle texture and is great for those who desire simplicity. 

 

MARS IN LIBRA: 

Ohhhhh, baby! The Zodiac’s people pleasers — this oftentimes detriment characteristic — finds its place in the bedroom. These sex babies love getting things right & are especially turned on by role-playing sex games. They are givers in bed, but expect the same in return. It’s a game of balance & change with these sexies! They have a strong desire for growth and variety in ANY sexual relationship — and won’t hesitate to find it elsewhere. Libra is the PICKIEST of lovers — it must be the right mood and atmosphere. But, for all their pickiness — they’ll charm your pants right off! 

Erogenous Zone:  Lower Back + Butt. Lower body massages will have them right where you want them!

Toy: Lelo Gigi 2, purchase here.

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This toy is PRETTY, simply put! With 8 pleasure settings — its sure to provide the variety that a Libra Mars needs. It is also just the right, BALANCE — of sexy + sleek.

 

MARS IN SCORPIO:  

Don’t call a Mars in Scorpio, basic! Their sexual nature is COMPLEX. While these sex babies share a common intensity in their desires, their expression depending on level of commitment, varies. That being said, they are willing to do most anything and enjoy FULL BODY pleasures. 

The sexual assassins of the Zodiac: they are cloaked, highly skilled, and lethal. Provocative BUT private — most will kiss and NEVER tell. Sex is intimate and personal. Their libidos run high, but so does their desire for mystery. 

Erogenous Zone: Genitals, DUH! You know what to do — if you don’t — send us a DM  (wink, wink). 

Toy: Forbidden Fruit Massager by Rianne S, purchase here. 

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The Forbidden Fruit is perfect for these tempters and temptresses. With five different intensities and seven vibrational patterns — the large surface guarantees that no spot goes untouched! 

 

MARS IN SAGITTARIUS: 

The good-natured, fun-loving sign — Sagittarius don’t leave their zest for life behind when they enter the bedroom. To them, sex is a sport. Laughing and roughhousing are huge turn-ons. They LOVE to have fun in bed! But, can be a bit selfish when it comes to their needs. Be direct and forthcoming to avoid any miscommunication. To use a sports metaphor, its best to — just do it. You can talk after, if need be. 

Erogenous Zone: Hips + Thighs. If you can get this global wanderer to sit down, massage their inner thighs — that will have them coming home...time & time, again!

Toy: Eiffel Tower Dildo, purchase here.

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We couldn’t help but LOL when we chose this toy. For the ever - explorer, finally a souvenir that can act as a monument to their eroticism. You’ll always have Paris! 

 

MARS IN CAPRICORN: 

They’ll get it done -- just to show you how efficiently they can do it. Mars in Capricorn appreciate sex that is straightforward and  simple. They prefer strong, powerful lovers who display some sort of authority. They are generally quiet about their sex life — although in true Capricorn nature, some will want others to know that they are on top of things in their sex life — minus the messy details. 

Erogenous Zone: Back of the Knees. Knee — Play, its a thing…that we thought only Aquarius’ would be into (more on that later). 

Toy:  Eggplant Emojibator, purchase here. 

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With 10 vibration settings, it always hits the spot, gets the job done, and is a healthy serving of vitamin D — all things a CAPRICORN can appreciate.

 

MARS IN AQUARIUS: 

Our lovely little weirdos! Don’t think the alien talk is just “bar talk” —  Aquarius’ love the unexplainable and definitely the unconventional!  Aquarius’ have a take it or leave it style to love making. They don’t need you — they have their conspiracy theories to get them HOT. They may not be the warmest of lovers, BUT they are the most open minded. Sex from a distance — phone, cyber, or affairs that don’t break up marriages — are where they really SHINE. Leave that text on read, and they are YOURS. In fact, its A HUGE turn on. Voted “most likely to slide into your DMs”. 

Erogenous Zone:  Legs & Calves. Caress their ankles and massage the lower part of their legs — it seems weird, but they are Aquarius (<3) need we say more!

Toy: Tokidoki Unicorn Massage Wand Vibrator, purchase here. 

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ON that mystical ISH…A unicorn gets you OFF…Aquarius’ everywhere have already “added to cart”.

 

MARS IN PISCES: 

Take it slow with these dreamy sex babies! Anything too strong or forthright — might scare them away. The fantasy lover, metamorphosis is the Piscean superpower. Mars in Pisces will talk to you about other dimensions, dreams, magic and other oddities before they ravish you senseless. They prefer nonverbal expressions of love and are attracted to imbalance. 

Erogenous Zone: Feet + Toes. Foot Massages, FTW!

Toy: Broad City Rechargeable Wand, purchase here.

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The ever-present BFF IRL that a needy Pisces oftentimes craves. this vibrator might just become your best companion. With three speeds, its guaranteed to spread those good vibes that pisces live for!

xxL

Read The Previous Signs, Sex & Sinners BLOG :: #LOVESTONED :: When you want to heal with Rose Quartz ...but you don't "do pink" cause you too BADDD & Bougie...alternative crystals for love, lust & lady parts

TOMORROW !!

 Are you READY for the ULTIMATE Ladies Night? All of the Bachelorette FUN without the wedding stress. Join Intuitive Gangster's Signs, Sex, Sinners for its first AFTER HOURS fem-powered Goddess Night. THINK: birth charts, crystals, cocktails + girl talk galore! All the SEX, MAGIC, &amp; STARS -- you've come to expect from us. Ya in?!  ✨✨Ticket Includes✨✨ + Aphrodisiac Cocktail + X-Rated Girl Talk + Mini Birth Chart Reading + Cosmic Sex &amp; Crystal Talk + Goddess Reading  We can't wait to get ALL UP IN YOUR VENUS! Tickets can be purchased,  here .

Are you READY for the ULTIMATE Ladies Night? All of the Bachelorette FUN without the wedding stress. Join Intuitive Gangster's Signs, Sex, Sinners for its first AFTER HOURS fem-powered Goddess Night.
THINK: birth charts, crystals, cocktails + girl talk galore! All the SEX, MAGIC, & STARS -- you've come to expect from us. Ya in?!

✨✨Ticket Includes✨✨
+ Aphrodisiac Cocktail
+ X-Rated Girl Talk
+ Mini Birth Chart Reading
+ Cosmic Sex & Crystal Talk
+ Goddess Reading

We can't wait to get ALL UP IN YOUR VENUS! Tickets can be purchased, here.